25 Best Mae West Quotes That Are Funny, Bold & Timeless

Mae West's lines are a masterclass in wit, confidence, and boldness. A great quote can lift your mood, sharpen your perspective, or give you the nudge to act—use these lines for social captions, morning motivation, speeches, or whenever you need a dose of charm and courage. Below are 25+ of her funniest, wisest, and most motivational quotes—ready to inspire.

Motivational quotes

• "When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better."
• "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
• "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful."
• "I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
• "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."

Inspirational quotes

• "I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
• "I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of reading."
• "It's better to be looked over than overlooked."
• "There's no trick to being a humorist when you feel as funny as I do."

Life wisdom quotes

• "If you can't say something nice about someone, come sit next to me."
• "It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men."
• "A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."
• "I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home."
• "To err is human, to forgive is not Mae West."

Confidence & boldness quotes

• "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
• "I can be a good woman, but don't push me."
• "When I find a good man, I buy him."
• "I'm no angel."

Humor & wit quotes

• "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
• "I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported."
• "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
• "I like a man who grins when he cheats."
• "I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back."

Love & relationships quotes

• "A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up."
• "A hard man is good to find."
• "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"

Quotes can be short and punchy or longer and reflective—Mae West gave us both. Keep a few favorites handy for social posts, quick confidence boosts, or a smile when you need one.

Quotes like these can shift your mindset, spark a laugh, and remind you to be bold in how you live and love. Read them often, share them freely, and let timeless wit shape your day.