Funny Wedding Wishes: 30 Hilarious Lines That'll Make Them Cry

Celebrate with a smile! Sending the right wedding wish can turn a sweet moment into a memorable one — whether you’re writing in a card, posting a caption, or delivering a toast. Use these funny wedding wishes to add humor, warmth, and a few happy tears to the big day. Pick a short one-liner for a caption or a longer, cheeky note for the card — and tailor it to your relationship with the couple.

Funny & Sweet Wishes

• Congrats to the two of you — may your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever.
• Wishing you a lifetime of love, laughter, and agreeing that “I was just about to wash the dishes.”
• May your marriage be like fine wine: better with age and occasionally requiring a corkscrew.
• Happy wedding day! May you always be each other’s favorite weirdo.
• Here’s to love, laughter, and the occasional “I told you so” said with a smile.
• May your love story be full of adventures — and your arguments end with dessert.

Sarcastic & Cheeky Wishes

• Congrats! Now you have someone to share your fries with — and someone to blame for lost keys.
• Marriage: finding that special someone to annoy for the rest of your life. Good luck, you two!
• May your life together be as flawless as your cake cutting skills (or at least as photogenic).
• Best wishes — may your arguments be short and your apologies come with chocolate.
• Now that you’re married, remember the secret: yes dear, and bring snacks.
• Cheers to a lifetime of pretending to listen while actually planning dinner.

For Long Marriages & Loving Advice (with a wink)

• Wishing you a marriage that’s long on trust, short on remote-control battles.
• May your love outlast all warranties and survive every software update life throws at you.
• Keep the humor, steal the blankets no more than twice a week, and always say please and thank you.
• May your disagreements be quick, your makeups dramatic, and your memories endless.
• Here’s to growing old together — may your retirement be as fun as your honeymoon (but with better naps).

For When You Can’t Be There (funny & heartfelt)

• Sorry I can’t be there — send cake photos and a lifetime supply of love. Congrats!
• Wishing I could join the dance floor; instead I’ll be cheering loudly from afar. Love you both!
• I’m sending hugs, bad jokes, and all my best wishes — hold the bouquet for me!
• Though I’m not there in person, I’m RSVP-ing as your loudest fan forever.
• If you need someone to crash the honeymoon photos, I’ll be there in spirit (and probably in GIF form).

Family-Friendly & In-Law Approved Wishes

• To the newlyweds: may family dinners be peaceful and the in-law visits short and sweet.
• Welcome to the family — may your home be full of love and only tasteful holiday sweaters.
• Wishing you both harmony, laughter, and relatives who text less and hug more.
• May your family grow with joy, patience, and plenty of leftovers after gatherings.

Short & Perfect for Cards or Captions

• Two hearts, one hilarious life. Congrats!
• You did it — now the real fun begins!
• Love, laughter, and forever after. Cheers!
• Together is the best place to be — especially with good Wi‑Fi.
• To love and laughter, and a happily ever after that includes pizza.
• Signed, sealed, delivered: happiness. Congrats!

Wishes like these bring laughter, warmth, and connection — and they make a wedding memory even brighter. A thoughtful (and funny) line can lift spirits, start conversations, and become a keepsake the couple reads for years. Send one that fits your style — it’ll mean more than you know.